Last week was a real emotional time for me. Welcome to womanhood, or humanhood I should say. A few months ago I read a post that stated that people share for their ego, maybe on a subconscious level, but my hope is that is shows light to being vulnerable in self awareness so that other can as well and we can change the world through consciousness.
Anyways… long winded as that was, suits my mental state this week. Haha. :-P. Does anyone else find it harder to forgive themselves then they do other people? 5 years ago, I was so aligned, body, soul, heart and mind. Alive with purpose and energy that I have never felt, fell in love and was on top of the world chasing my dreams. Then immigration happened and the lawyer from hell and I held so steadfast to my goals I lost the woman. I took this course that talked about a bird in a forest fire, the firefighters found her dead body on a branch and when they touched it they found her baby’s untouched beneath her wings, then they told me to hold onto my dreams that tight. I did that, so tight. I held everything so tight, that I lost that woman. Visualization and intention is so powerful. I kept imagining the bird, and became it. And now I am ready to be the Phoenix that I have talked about for the last 2 years. I have done so much self reflection and growth to get me where I am… But its forgiving myself for loosing that woman who I was so proud to become. I will never be her again, I know….. I will be a better version, in my head and heart I know, a stronger woman, capable of so much more love and laughter. My soul just has to forgive myself for holding that woman on a pedestal and for holding everything so tight I even went grey.
From all the research that I have done, it cause I lost my value system. I placed money in front of my values and the need to feed and provide for my family took over so I chased the dollar. It has occurred to me how much we as a society give up to pay our bills, we loose ourselves to make ends meet or to keep up with the Jones. There has to be a way to do both in this day and age. In the age of conciousness awareness that we can be more ourselves and have more money for whatever we desire to do with our life. Thank you for listening and reading, we are all on our own path and story full of ups and downs. May we all have the courage to forgive and be human. Feel free to watch my YouTube channel and like and subscribe to more of my journey. https://youtu.be/wZ0D6XgCOR4